Act 9:15  But the Lord said unto him, Go thy way: for he is a chosen vessel unto me, to bear my name before the Gentiles, and kings, and the children of Israel:

During my prayer time this morning, God kept bringing a word to my mind. You can imagine the conversations that go on in my head, especially when God is showing me something. It goes a little like this:

God: Vessel.

Me: I am a vessel. Yes, Lord, I get that. What are you saying to me?

God: Vessel. Child, you are My vessel.

Me: Yes, Lord, I am. But what about it?

I go on with my daily prayers, which include certain things for myself. For the Lord to forgive my leaked holiness, for the Holy Spirit to fill me up, for me to overcome spirits of fear and doubt. As I prayed for these three today, the thoughts collided.

God: You’re cracked. You leak. You don’t even know the direction I have for you. But with My help, you can live out My purpose for you. Ask me to patch the vessel.

Me: I get it! Yes, Lord. Oh, Mighty Healer. Lover of my soul. I am your vessel but I am so broken and I need Your guidance every day to show me my path. Please, Lord, please, patch the vessel.

We all know what a vessel is when mentioned in the Bible. It’s usually describing a container meant to hold something, or a boat aiming for a certain destination. With either use of the word, a broken vessel cannot fulfill its purpose. But children of God, hear me when I say this. We will never be broken beyond repair when we allow God’s hands to hold us every day. He is Jehovah Rapha, our capable and mighty healer. He can fix us, and we need to ask Him to fix us so we can keep fulfilling His purpose. He never meant for us to do this alone.

Leaked Holiness = Damaged Vessel:
You see, as much as I try to be holy, I am human and deeply flawed. I cannot keep the level of holiness I begin my day with. You know, right after prayers when I’m freshly forgiven, pumped up to do God’s work, and determined to show Him to this sad and destructive world. Nothin’s gonna break my stride. Well fast forward as the day progresses. Conversations happen, work gets busy, and suddenly I am in the flesh feeling aggravated and quickly losing joy.

Imagine hearing that annoying sound of air escaping a balloon. Someone or something poked a hole in me and my holiness is leaking out, fast and furious. Despite my best efforts to get it together, I’m deflating like a sad, wrinkled heap, all to the tune of a nails-on-a-chalkboard, agonizing, high-pitched whine. And it feels just like it sounds.

No Room for the Holy Spirit = Damaged Vessel:
He must increase, and I must decrease. More of You, less of me. Right? Is the Holy Spirit able to bring scripture to my mind? Is He able to help me take my thoughts captive? Yes, of course, He is able. But am I allowing Him to every minute of the day? No. Some days I am not allowing the Holy Spirit to fill me up because I am simply in the way.

I see this as a frantic act. I am feeling it and I know I need Him. I know what to do so I pray, Lord, fill me up! He swoops in and gives me what I ask for. He’s pouring in and things start coming unhinged. I haven’t made room for Him and I can’t let go of the things in the way, even as it’s happening. As He’s pouring in the Holy Spirit, it’s seeping through cracks and blowing out of holes I didn’t even know existed. I know what the problem is, but I just can’t dump enough of me in time. So I sit there like a leaking sieve, letting the good stuff escape, all while desperately clinging to the me I can’t let go of. There’s just not room in the vessel to hold both of us.

He never lets me down and He is faithful to do His part, but this covenant between God and me, it’s a two-way street. On the days I fail, all I can do is ask for forgiveness, repent of the things that got in the way, and pray for a better day tomorrow. I must decrease.

Fear and Doubt = Damaged Vessel:
When the word vessel is used to describe a boat, two things are almost always certain. One, it has a course. Two, if it veers off the course, it can get damaged. In the same way, God has given us a path, a plan for influencing this world, and a destination. If we stay on His path and sailor on each day, whether we have a smooth ride or not, our purpose will be fulfilled. But rest assured, storms will jostle us and damage our vessels, and our fears and doubts will tempt us to take a detour. I urge you to stay the course.

Imagine being out at sea. When you see the dark clouds up ahead and small waves are in your direct path, you veer to the right or to the left to go around it. You do this every time the potential danger is in your way. Sometimes you face bigger storms because of your decision, and other times all is calm, but assess the total situation. It took longer and now your vessel is damaged. Sometimes you couldn’t even find your way back to the original path. Are you even where you are supposed to be now? Worst of all, you missed your purpose.

I am tempted to go off-course by spirits of fear and doubt. When I see a challenge up ahead, a spirit of doubt can make me question my ability, my knowledge, my endurance, etc. Or I face a flat-out spirit of fear and I say, “I don’t want to do this, Lord, because what if ________?” Fill in the blank. Any answer you could put here is likely understandable, but at the end of the day, it’s an excuse and a roadblock for God’s purpose in your life.

We must remember, that when God gives us a path, He prepared IT for US ahead of time. What we often forget is that He prepared US for IT, too. Even if we are tossed about with rough waters, mighty waves, big storms, and wind that spins us 180°, He is with us. We must turn back to the path and keep moving forward.

Children of God, it’s our responsibility to share God’s message of salvation, to show His light to everyone we encounter, to help when and where we can, and to fight for truth in a world of lies. We will encounter small cracks, big holes, unforeseen challenges, and misdirection. But we are His vessels. We are His hands and His feet. We have been called, AND EQUIPPED, to stay on the path He has planned for us. He can heal our hurts, forgive us where we fail Him, strengthen us, overcome on our behalf, and fight for us when we have no fight left. He didn’t call us to fight this battle alone, and He didn’t put us on a path to fail. He needs us to do our part as His earthly vessels, and no matter how damaged we get through the process, we have hope in restoration, healing, and strength through God, our creator. He is the One who knows us intimately and knows just what we need when we need it.

Ask Him to patch the vessel and fulfil the purpose He has planned for you.

Fully immersed in The Scarlet Letters.